My Will Be Done
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John's LiveJournal:
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| Saturday, March 29th, 2008 | | 1:08 pm |
started a blogspot to post music/other updates. locking my lj to the public and probably never posting again but keeping it to look at yours. http://faafh.blogspot.com/ | | Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 | | 8:38 pm |
new song. like all songs, i can never tell if i hate it or love it after i'm done. what do you think, LJ? "Launchpad" Fireworks on the fourth of July Aren't as interesting as the ones I see when I close my eyes Colors react like water with rubidium And you're standing there right in the middle of them Your signal's coming in clear, sharp as a tack The fireworks started fading to black I opened my eyes, you weren't there So I turned my attention to the ones in the air They were nothing but smoke and flashing lights I'd rather be looking at the sky at night Laying on my back and counting the stars From Orion's belt to Ursa Major From the supernovas to all the moon's craters If you ain't here with me, maybe that's where you are Now it's sad but true But every single Tuesday in June I tilt my head and wait for you To fly across the summer moon But every night it's the same I'm so jealous of the clouds and airplanes Who get up so close to you I think they have a better view I gotta find a way up there, way up high I'm wishing that I could just take to the sky But gravitational pull does it's best to keep me here I'd like to look at the Earth, way down below But I've got enough problems just saying hello Let alone penetrating the atmosphere When you and I talk It's like planetary equinox But it doesn't matter what I do I'm going to need a launchpad To get closer to you | | Sunday, March 16th, 2008 | | 5:22 pm |
| | Monday, March 10th, 2008 | | 3:08 pm |
feh!
after what might be the longest, most terrible dream I've had since I was 3 (this particular one was about jazz fusion), I awoke only to discover that I was running a fever of 100 degrees. I've felt this coming on for some time, and apologize for being so cloistered this past week or so. I went back to bed and slept til about 2. I feel alright now. I've been reading Ham on Rye and soon after this I'm going to boot up my Degrassi Junior High DVDs. Nothing at all has happened recently, as I've been growing more and more content with staying home. I went to the stupid coffee house on Friday and a bunch of stupid bands played, but there were a lot of cool people there. I've been listening to a lot of indie pop from the pix forums, and these two popcasts: notquiterocketscience.com http://www.myspace.com/5432funlots of cute songs on ukulele and toy keyboards. I hope me and Mike get a chance to really record for real, because I am oh so ready. Current Music: magnetic fields, "take ecstacy with me" | | Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 | | 5:05 pm |
bring the mosh
First new song in a while. I play it on geetar I see her once in a while around town I find a place near where she sits She talks fast when she gets excited And apologizes if she spits We talk about our various ailments And all our different kinds of pills When I'm around her, I get so nauseous Motion sickness standing still And I've never met a girl quite like this She is the reason for my current paralysis And something very strange occurred While we stumble over each other's words I think I fell in love with her Right then I don't think I'll get the courage to ask her I hope one day I prove me wrong Till then she can borrow my records And dance to all my stupid songs Bad jokes and nervous laughter I hope this passes with age So one day I can wake up and find myself The lead role in her awkward stage And our kisses would mean more Than dry lips and canker sores And I'm pretty sure My bad complexion would feel great on hers And one day I'll be at her door Shuffle my feet and tell the floor I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do. | | Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 | | 8:28 pm |
So the upcoming Weston show was canceled for unannounced reasons, but they recently set up another philly show on New Years Eve. At the North Star Bar. This is of course, 21+, meaning I can't go. I could be standing outside on the dark streets of Philadelphia, my breath visible in the below-freezing temperature, hear my favorite band vibrating through the walls, shaking the venue with pure rock, and a big man in a black t-shirt would stand in my way. He would not let me in. Even if I offered to pay double. Meanwhile, a bunch of drunk college kids in cargo pants yelling "Who's this band?" are getting shit-faced and not giving a fuck on the other side of the wall. From the North Star Web Site: "Is there stage diving and moshing (slam dancing) permitted at the North Star? Not under any circumstances. The concept is pretty easy to grasp even for the thick skulled people that have been the ruin of many a fine show in the Philadelphia music scene over the years. We'd prefer to ask you to leave then to have carry you or someone that you hurt out to an ambulance. If you don't understand this please stay home. Is this serious? Yes. It is a show stopper. Sorry we aren't cool / hip enough to let people get hurt at shows." First of all, it should be "is stage diving permitted" not "is there stage diving permitted" and secondly, I hope your first born child is inside out. With this statement, the entire club gives off the heir of retard-bouncer mentality; the same that got 2 kids' asses kicked at the last weston show at the troc. All dancing is violence! Beat those kids the fuck up! This isn't about music! 21+ venues are the ugliest fucking things I can think of. People over 21 don't like music. They like beer, and wearing Birkenstocks, and settling down. I hate them. I am 17. I don't have shit. What else is there for me to concentrate on? It isn't school, and I have no need for a job, so what the fuck am I going to do if I'm LEGALLY BARRED from seeing my favorite bands play? Music is MY property. I live with my parents, I'm not getting laid, and I can't grow facial hair. You fucking win, that's it. Congratulations. All I am asking is that you let me into your venue. Everyone else can come too, I don't care, but keep the doors open for people who still give a shit. | | Saturday, December 1st, 2007 | | 7:24 pm |
emily broke up with me over the phone when I was at Mike's today. I feel like doing something to take my mind off of it, but right now I'm just working on putting my demo CD's together. I gave different titles to each one, but I named a couple "My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me While I was Working on this Demo" because i think that ones extra funny. Others include: 4 Songs for the Cupcake Punx Love Songs in the Key of Shit and Joey Jeremiah Dumps Caitlin Ryan: The Demo (<<<Degrassi Junior High reference.)
I also named one "This is the 3rd Time I have Missed Japanther" because last night me sarah mike and steve went to a house show in west philly to see Japanther, but for some reason they weren't slotted to play until 1 in the morning, and I had to be home and steve and mike had to get to sarah's surprise party. Thus, third time I've missed Japanther. Except this time, I saw them moving their shit out of their van.
I think Emily might have cheated on me. That would be fucked up, but for some reason I feel like it would make me feel a little bit better. I'm not really bent, I guess. I have been a very happy person for a great chunk of this year, but this past month has been a little tough. Lance Hahn died before I ever got to see J Church, then my cat died on Halloween, and now I'm single again.
I'm optimistic though. In less than a week I'll be playing my first show ever! AHHH! I am as nervous as I am totally stoked. I am going to be selling the demo CD's for 2 bucks a piece. The kids will eat them the fuck up. Then, about a week after that, WESTON PLAYS PHILLY. I swear to god, every 6 months, it's like a band-aid for the soul. Plus they're playing with the fucking BESTIES and the UNLOVABLES who wrote the best song about new jersey ever! I am SO STOKED.
but still, SADDERDAY nights. Current Music: "things I don't do"-Paul Baribeau. | | Sunday, November 25th, 2007 | | 12:51 pm |
i've been having these really sweet dreams lately. Two nights ago I had a dream that Weston booked a house show and it was this fucking crazy pit in a basement, and they were playing with chuck and his voice was so powerful that he didn't even need a mic, and me and this kid with a mohawk got a mic for all of "No Kind of Superstar." Then tonight I had a dream that the girl from Kid Nation was cursing up a storm and shoved a bottle of mustard through the hole in a chain link fence and then I was playing baseball with all these kids from my grade with a water balloon that wouldn't break and one of those phallic balloon noodle things, then everyone started crowd surfing and Bill Morris has a 4 year old kid or something. Then later I went to a McDonalds even though I was really reluctant. And there were all these pissed off ladies working there and they were like "Our job is to perpetuate the lies of the corporation, motherfucker." "Bow down to McDonalds." And I was like "Fuck you,pigs" (i really said this in my dream. I guess I was a street punx or something). Then later this kid made me defend my actions. I have to read huckleberry fin today but I'm not going to let it bother me. Current Music: Mr. T Experience "What's in the Cuckoo Clock?" | | Friday, November 23rd, 2007 | | 10:51 pm |
Nekrowax24 (10:49:03 PM): in case you havent noticed will Nekrowax24 (10:49:08 PM): i am the fucking greatest Nekrowax24 (10:49:10 PM): of all time wilbur2010 (10:48:57 PM): eh wilbur2010 (10:49:00 PM): sometimes wilbur2010 (10:49:07 PM): sometimes your just an asshole Nekrowax24 (10:49:36 PM): thus Nekrowax24 (10:49:40 PM): i am the greatest wilbur2010 (10:49:26 PM): ok Current Music: cleveland bound death sentence | | Friday, November 9th, 2007 | | 9:32 pm |
songs are getting progressively hard to write. tonight i thought i'd take it easy and it's kind of lame. i miss going out. i hardly ever do now. i need to party down. Current Music: discount | | Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 | | 7:58 pm |
in response to my last post, Gabbie, my cat of five years, died this morning of intestinal cancer. she will be sorely missed. This is the most bummed I've been about anyone's death in basically ever. halloween always sucks ass. | | Tuesday, October 30th, 2007 | | 3:14 pm |
my cat is sick and i hope she gets better :( | | Thursday, October 25th, 2007 | | 9:46 pm |
me and mike saw danzig on my birthday. honestly, i don't think it could have gone any better; it was the perfect mix of goofy bullshit and awesome. At the end he played some Misfits songs with Doyle, which was too good to be true. I can't think of anything I'd rather have done on my birthday. My birthday was good overall, but I don't really feel like it's over. I still have to go out to dinner with my parents and Emily is promising a follow up to her present (oohhh whats it gunna be). I got some useful and practical things. Tonight I went to the pumpkin carve with Emily. It was beautiful and made me feel very very festive and happy. Then I bought some poptarts at wawa. You know, at the Danzig show, people seemed pretty pissed. I mean they were stoked because they were seeing Danzig but they just looked like pissed off angry people. They put so much energy into hating shit. I don't think I'm like that. I am a happy person. Danzig makes me happy. My pumpkin carving, cake decorating girlfriend makes me happy. The fact that Mike inherited his mom's volvo makes me happy. laff loud, mofucks. Current Music: I Hate Myself <<<yeah thats right get happy | | Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 | | 3:35 pm |
still going
i don't wish to speak so soon, but troubles have mostly subsided: my paper is extended to thursday, yo la tengo was excellent and i feel fine today, and tomorrow is my brithday and i'm seeing danzig. the new tullycraft album came out today but i can't find it on soulseek. i can't believe it: the internet lost 4chan and TV links in like one week! RIP, RIP. | | Sunday, October 21st, 2007 | | 8:53 pm |
whoah there...
tomorrow up through next sunday will either be a great time or a ginormous shit storm. Monday, Yo La Tengo at the church Wednesday, big paper due, Danzig at the Electric factory, 17th birthday Saturday, the lady's birthday/halloween party. I really hope I don't get sick and debilitated. You know, everyone really likes the Lou Reed song "Perfect Day" but I think it sucks ass. Current Music: Lou Reed | | Thursday, October 11th, 2007 | | 10:12 pm |
burnt the fuck out
i've been doing nothing but playing music for the last 2 days. i can't stand it anymore, i have to quit. remember when all i did was listen to other peoples music and act depressed? that was awesome. last night I went to open mic with this girl on my street and long story short it was fucking weird and i am never hanging out with her again. people reacted pleasantly to my performance last night, but the whole thing was weird and uncomfortable. i wrote a pretty good song yesterday that I'm really happy with but I also wrote the worst one ever and feel like stealing my dad's Jose Cuervo, emptying it out and beating myself over the head until i forget how fucking bad it was. i need to release this tension and go to sleep. I think all this is because I haven't listened to any thrash in a while. Current Music: ME | | Sunday, October 7th, 2007 | | 9:42 am |
it's getting well into october, and as of late i've been feeling really disconnected from the season. The leaves have started to change and fall, but it's so warm out, and I haven't even been to Halloween Adventure yet. I'm hoping things will change by the time the Great Pumpkin carve rolls around. I also think I'm going to play nothing but Misfits song at the next open mic, maybe that will get me in the mood. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for my birthday (most likely nothing), or for Halloween. Last year we had the first thursday of november off but for some reason we don't this year...Halloweens on school nights are the biggest fucking disappointments ever. On a few lighter notes: The movie "Pet Semmetary" is one of my favorite halloween-ish movies, but you know whats better? "Pet Semmetary 2" it has fucking edward furlong in it and is SO shitty but it has a lot of cool early 90's imagery in it. I like it for the same reasons I like Graves-era misfits; kind of cheesy and not as good as the original, but spooky. and spookiness is cool. also, I really like the movie "Hocus Pocus" with Bette Midler. And, now that I think about it, remember that part in "Blank Check" (you know that movie about the kid who gets run over by a mob boss who hands him a blank check to pay for his totaled bike) when he cashes the check and buys that big fucking mansion with it, and then he has all that cash and goes inside on his bed and throws the money up in the air and goes "LOTS OF MONEY!"? I think that destroyed my whole generation. Also, speaking of Halloween movies, I ordered "Trick or Treat" yesterday, which might be my favorite movie of ALL TIME (next to Kids or Xanadu) so lets get baked and watch it. I guarantee you won't fucking believe it. I'm seeing Defiance, Ohio today, too. I'm really excited. It is teh shows which keep me going. I think the next show I'm going to after this is Yo La Tengo on the 22nd. It'll probably give me a panic attack, but I can not wait for all the cred points that shit will give me. I really want to go see Avail and Smoke or Fire in november, but that's on a school night, so it probably won't happen. So after this, the next show isn't Millions of Dead Cops on November 21st. who's comin? Current Music: AFI (the good shit) | | Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 | | 9:48 pm |
word documents.
They had redone the dentist’s office, and I didn’t like it. It reminded me heavily of the Tanner household on “Full House,” a show which I would watch continuously when I was home sick with stomach flu. Consequently this program (along with Telemundo and along with that, the entire Spanish language) was associated heavily with spewing green bile into a Lysol-scented bucket and drifting in and out of feverish hallucinations. Despite this misfortune, the hygienist’s chair was unusually relaxing and reassuring. I was in for a cleaning, which meant she poked at my gums for a while with sharp metal hooks. This process ordinarily drives me to the brink of insanity, wanting for nothing more than to grab the hook from the hand of the tormenter and shove it through their eye lid, but today it seemed almost therapeutic. I could feel my inflamed gums opening and bleeding, completely exorcised. My thoughts wandered: that’s all life really was, come to think of it, an alleviation of anxiety. The parts of my life that I can control are used simply to counter the parts that….OW WHAT THE FUCK. My trip into my overly self-aware and self-obsessed subconscious was rudely interrupted by the scraping hook of the hygienist. She was hacking away at the backs of my front teeth with such ruthless conviction that I think one could actually call it hostile. I tried to shoot her a look that said something along the lines of “Are you seriously doing this to me right now?” but unfortunately, with my mouth as wide open as it was, it probably looked more like “I am a goofy bastard with awful gums.” I winced as she went about her work: my unfortunate front teeth (who I had named when I was younger, but forget now) were making the sound of wood being carved away with a pocket knife. Trying desperately to overt attention from what seemed like a punishment for my very existence, I concentrated on the innocuous XM station playing behind me. The DJ announced that the next three songs would all be about California. I really hope one of them is “California Dreaming.” After the assault on my mouth was finished, the Lord of Discomfort hovering above me pushed a button, bringing my seat back up. “Rinse,” she says bluntly. When I did so, the dark green Listerine I was given came out a dark sludgy purple. I noticed the blood stains on the ugly dark turquoise tray, as well as on the disposable instruments of torture. “You,” says the Tormenter, “need to floss more.” I am always amused by the fact that these women have the nerve to go at my mouth, poking and prodding with sharp pointed objects for some time, and then tell me that it’s my fault if I “bleed too much.” “I’m making an appointment a month from now to make sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to. You should be wearing you’re retainer more often, too; some of your spaces are opening up again.” She handed me the small appointment card. “If you haven’t been doing what you’re supposed to, don’t come in for this. It’ll be a waste of my time, and I’ll be upset.” Why the fuck do these people take everything so personally? Are they not receiving wealthy endorsements from my mother to carry out this work? Then again, maybe, just maybe, they actually care about teeth. Maybe first thing every day, they go about the delicate task of protecting their precious pearly whites: first floss, then the mouthwash to rinse away the excess plaque. Following this is a hardy brush session, which lasts several minutes, complete with dance moves and “toothbrush as microphone” karaoke endeavors, just like on TV. They then water pick away on “gentle” to rid themselves of the overbearing taste of mint so they’re morning sugar free orange juice doesn’t taste sour, then strap on their rubber gloves and surgical masks to fight the good fight. When greeting their coworkers in the morning, they say “hello” twice; once to the individual, once to their teeth. This image comforted me slightly-maybe there are people who actually care, who aren’t just in it for the money, and are working hard for the furthering of their cause. On the car ride home, I wondered why I had no such cause. Current Music: the shaggs | | Thursday, September 13th, 2007 | | 10:01 am |
I think I did pretty well last night at open mic. I was pretty pleased with myself, and wil says I'm getting better. Hopefully today I'll be recording at Nick's house, but it's likely he'll flake just like he has every other time. I also absolutely must see more of William and Michael. Sometimes it takes a jewish holiday to get your life back on track. Where have you gone, Dan Johnson? A nation turns it's lonely eyes to you. Current Music: "Feet" -Weston | | Saturday, September 1st, 2007 | | 12:36 pm |
oh i forgot
i started school. It sucks. My schedule: 1. Chemistry (Burgess) 2. Algebra II Fundamentals (Hwang) 3. Gym (Meredith)/Study Hall (they alternate every day) 4. U.S Cultures (Wolf) 5. Lunch 6. English 11 Honors (Park) 7. Creative Writing (Lipowitz) 8. Study Hall I didn't work hard enough last year (actually i fucked up quite a bit) so I'm in class with a whole lot of smelly kids. Really. I'm disappointed with my honors english class, as it's mostly just marginally intelligent sports enthusiasts. A lot of pastels. My U.S cultures class is all stoners. Creative writing is all freshman anime girls who force modesty like all hell (i.e "My mom said it was great, and I was like mom, this sucks! and she was like, "you could be an author" and i was like shut up mom lol.") We spend a lot of time over analyzing sentences. Tim is in my gym class, along with nick rzepski and will davis and jason matthews. It ain't bad. Overall things should be pretty generic. Current Music: Crimpshrine "Safely Wasting Away" |
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